What a difference a year can make.
I remember last Christmas Eve all too well. Last year, just like today, Bradley went in to work for a few hours in the morning. I was left alone with all of my thoughts. I remember sitting at the kitchen table and crying for what seemed like such a long time. I blogged that day, but the post was never published. I remember thinking about how different things should have been. It should have been our first baby's first Christmas. My heart felt like it was in a million shattered pieces, and I didn't know how to even begin putting the pieces back together. With the exception of the ultrasound day, I have never felt so dark, so alone, so absolutely broken as I did last Christmas Eve.
This Christmas Eve is a different story. I sit this morning in awe and wonder at the miracle I'm experiencing. After all we've been through, this pregnancy still seems too good to be true...but Aniston's precious little kicks remind me that it is. We are truly blessed beyond measure.
I spent time in prayer this morning for those couples who are still waiting on their miracle, and I ask you to do the same. Infertility often doesn't show on the outside, but can destroy a person internally. The holidays can be especially difficult for couples facing such an uncertain future, as well-meaning relatives ask difficult questions and babies are everywhere. So pray for those couples. Pray that God would be near them during this season, renewing their hope and giving them peace.