When I was pregnant with Aniston, I thought I would never take birth control pills again. It took us three years to get pregnant, and I just didn't see the point.
At my six week check-up, my doctor asked if I wanted a prescription for birth control. Without hesitation, I said yes.
Now, there are two reasons I believe I said that. 1) I was in the thick of newborn-ness. I wasn't sleeping, my baby wouldn't nurse, I was pumping around the clock, and it was all beginning to wear on me. I was sure that I couldn't handle another pregnancy at that point. 2) Time has a way of making things fuzzy. I knew that Aniston was a miracle, that Dr. W didn't believe I could conceive without IVF, and that it took one year of "trying" and two years of hard-core fertility treatments to get her. However, that all grew fuzzy during pregnancy and I began to believe that I could have another baby whenever I wanted.
In the fall I began to doubt my decision. After all, what's the likelihood that I would get pregnant without any sort of medical intervention? Slim to none. Bradley said from the beginning just to let it go and see what happened. (Of course, I couldn't do that. I need some sort of control.) I began to think that maybe another baby was a good idea. I loved being pregnant. I loved feeling a little life inside of me, and the excitement and anticipation of it all. I missed that feeling and didn't want to think of never having it again. I would love for Aniston to have a brother or sister one day, and I know another child would bring even more joy to our family.
Last week, I saw Dr. H about some lower abdominal pain I've been having. It's not constant, but when it happens it's horrible. He was concerned that I may have ovarian cysts and that the rupturing of the cysts was causing the pain. Given the Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and the amount of fertility drugs I've taken it the past, it was definitely a possibility. He scheduled a pelvic ultrasound for Thursday.
Long story short, there were no cysts and Dr. H doesn't know what is causing the pain. The pain, however, took a backseat to what the ultrasound also revealed--my ovaries showed no signs of PCOS. I couldn't believe it, and neither could Dr. H or the ultrasound tech. No one is exactly sure what this means for the future. There could be something else going on that keeps me from getting pregnant on my own or the PCOS could possibly show up again later.
But it's possible that it means I may be able to have another baby.