Before Bradley and I got married, my aunt, Marie, put together a book of recipes for me. She sent a letter to friends and family asking them to contribute a recipe to the book, and also advice about marriage. A family friend wrote this:
Marriage is not always a 50/50 proposition. Sometimes it's more like 90/10. Remember, anything worth having is worth working for.
When I first read those words at my bridesmaids' brunch, I didn't really understand what they meant. But, boy, do I understand now!
Our relationship is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. We argue. There have been times when we've gone to bed angry. We're both capable of--and guilty of--saying really snarky things. You know those couples that say, "Oh, we just bring out the best in each other!"? Yeah...we're not exactly that couple. So, no, our relationship isn't perfect.
But it is strong, solid, and real. We've been married for nearly six years, and our relationship has been tested in ways that we never expected when we said those vows. We've been through some really hard things together, and we've made it. We have cried and laughed together. We have clung to each other when our world was falling apart. We have experienced devastating loss and indescribable joy. We have seen the darkest of days, and we have experienced a miracle. Through it all, we've loved each other.
It hasn't always been 50/50, and at times it has required a lot of work. Sometimes it's messy and chaotic. Other times it's breathtakingly beautiful.
I'll take real over perfect any day.