Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Baby #2

Yesterday's post was just an announcement.  Now for the story behind it. :)


Over the last couple of years, B and I have had lots of discussions about our family, and we often talked about having (or not having) another baby.  We weighed pros and cons.  We realistically looked at what it took for us to have Aniston (three years, lots of fertility treatments, and a small fortune) and what it would mean for us to do that again.  I told B repeatedly that I didn't want to want another baby.  I didn't want to go back to that dark place of desperately wanting a baby and not being able to have one.  My insurance company has a lifetime limit for fertility treatments, and we were dangerously close to that limit when we finally had Aniston.

After considering all those things, we came to the conclusion that Aniston was it for us.  That was the smart, reasonable, rational decision.

As sure as our minds were about only having one child, though, our hearts weren't so sure.  After a lot of thought and prayer, we decided to give it to God.  We wouldn't make an appointment at REACH, but we wouldn't do anything to prevent pregnancy either.

Here's the thing about my God:  He's big and powerful and amazing.  In the most impossible of situations, He can make a way.

And He's capable of huge, huge surprises.

I knew I was late, but didn't really think anything of it.  I didn't want to take a test (remember how many of those I've failed?), but decided to just for peace of mind last Thursday morning.

It was immediately positive.  And I was shocked.  And in disbelief.  So much so, in fact, that I buried the test and the box in the back of the bathroom cabinet so B wouldn't know.  I couldn't say it out loud quite yet.  I went about my normal day, but called the nurse practitioner I see and explained, since she knew my history of PCOS and infertility.  She suggested I come in for blood work that afternoon, and said we would have the results back by Friday.

I didn't say a word about it to B on Thursday night.  Not. a. word.  I spent most of the night convincing myself it was some sort of crazy false positive.

On Friday at 8:30, she called to tell me my HCG level was 2420--a level that indicated a healthy pregnancy around 5-6 weeks.

I don't know if I've ever been so surprised in my life.  However, as surprised as I was, I knew B would be even more so.  With the help of some wonderful friends (who were much more capable of thinking than I was at the time! ha!), I threw together a quick way to tell him.  We went to dinner on Friday night, just the two of us, and I shared the news with him.  It was a very sweet time, and we spent the evening planning how we would tell the rest of our family.

This was a completely different situation than when we found out we were expecting Aniston, and it was so much fun...because no one expected it at all!

It's early--only six weeks on Saturday.  I'm much calmer this time than with Aniston, though, and realize that worrying won't help anything. Instead, I'll enjoy and appreciate it, and marvel at the miracle it is.  My first ultrasound is scheduled for February 17.

Who would have ever thought I would be sharing news like this?!

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