Wednesday, July 22, 2015

One Day

Today has been a frustrating day.

The laundry situation in this house is out of control.  There's stuff we moved out of Harper's room that still doesn't have a permanent home.  There are boxes that need to go to the basement, and boxes of baby stuff that need to be carried up from the basement.  And there are toys everywhere.  I've spent most of the day trying to clean and organize, but while I'm in one room, a mess is being made in another by a certain little someone.

It's enough to drive a person crazy.

I was SO frustrated this afternoon, and found myself fussing, lecturing, and just not being the parent I want to be.  I turned on Disney Jr. and retreated to my bedroom for a five minute mommy time out.  As I sat on the edge of the bed and thought about the day, I realized a few things.

One day, toys won't be scattered from one end of our house to the other.
One day, instead of her begging me to play, I'll be begging her to do something with me.
One day, she won't say "Mama," a hundred times a day to get my attention.
One day, the house will stay clean, the laundry will be caught up, and everything will be quiet--no constant talking and singing, no little feet running through the house, no giggling.

And on that day, instead of crying in frustration like I did today, I'll cry because of all the moments and days that slipped by so quickly, lost in the busyness of daily life.

I will never get today back.  Tomorrow Aniston will be one day older, one day closer to growing up, one day closer to not needing me for so many things.  I can try my best to make tomorrow better by not getting as frustrated and by having more patience and grace, but today?  Today is gone.  A wasted day in exchange for what?  Fussing about toys and feeling overwhelmed by all that needs to be done?  In the grand scheme of things, what does it matter if my living room is littered with letter tiles, stuffed animals, and baby dolls?  Will Aniston remember the days our house was in perfect order, or will she remember my words and (I'm so ashamed to admit this) sometimes my harshness?  Will she remember the days all the laundry was put away, or will she remember the times I stopped what I was doing to play with her?

There will always be dishes to wash, laundry to do, dinner to cook, and so on...the necessary parts of daily life certainly can't stop.  But they can slow down.  That's what I realized today, and what I intend to do tomorrow--slow down and take time to really think about what's the most important thing in that moment.  Life is busy, and the pressure is often overwhelming, but in the end, what matters most?

Here's to slowing down and remembering that the little things are really the big things.

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