Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Sleepless

I have lost the ability to sleep past 3:30am.

At first, I thought it was because Aniston has had several restless nights recently.  Each time, I couldn't fall asleep again after I got her settled. 

This morning, though, I realized that wasn't really the problem.  I'm the problem.

I have an eerie feeling that this may just be the way things go until September (which makes me so, so sad because I'm wasting nights when I could sleep and I know the sleepless nights of having a newborn are just around the corner).

I like to sleep.  I need sleep.  I'm not a person who can stay up all night, or survive on just a few hours.  I never have been.   

I force myself to stay in bed until 5:00, because 5:00 at least seems like a more reasonable time to get up (even though it's not because, hello?, summer).  When all hope of sleep is really lost, I get up and try to be as quiet as possible because the only thing worse than being awake at 5:00 in the summer is having your four-year-old who never naps awake with you.  (I don't have to worry about B, though, because every bit of light sleeper tendencies in him vanished the night Aniston was born.  He was suddenly blessed with the ability to sleep through anything.)

I would like to tell you that all these early mornings have resulted in very productive days, but that's a lie.  All they've done is allow me a little more time on Pinterest which, in turn, makes me feel like I could really make the recipe that has fifteen steps (even though I hate cooking) or have an immaculate house (even though it's summer and Aniston and I are here all the time and there's just no way) or become so organized that everything around here runs like a well-oiled machine (ha).

(Sometimes I wish I could go back to a Pinterest-free world.  It was a simpler time.)

Being awake so early also gives me plenty of time to think about all the things I need to do, and to make lists.  You wouldn't believe the number of lists I have going right now. 

Not that I have the energy to do anything on said lists...because I've been awake since 3:30, and that makes for an insanely long, tiring day.  I'm hoping and praying--and I never thought I'd pray about sleep--that things go back to normal soon!

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